The Casualty
by AlexSnape-36
Summary: Severus survives the war but has forgotten a very important part of his past-his fiancée. Thinking he would never remember her, she fled. Now, she needs his help. Can she cope with the memories long enough to be around him? Will he ever remember her?
1. Prolog

_**Prolog: Memories Forgotten**_

It was the year of the great battle of Hogwarts when Madame Tara Doe was hired as Madame Pomfrey's assistant. Though Madame Pomfrey had insisted she needed no help in performing her duties, Minerva had insisted she 'take the girl on'.

Tara had just barely finished University when she was hired, but after the first week Professor Severus Snape was the only faculty member who considered her skills inferior. However, Madame Pomfrey had her working with the potions master on almost a regular basis, and it wasn't long before he realized her potential, not only as a mediwitch, but also as a potions mistress.

He found himself enjoying her company and even debating with her. It wasn't long before he'd invited her to assist him with a few of his personal projects. The staff would often joke about whether Tara was Pomfrey's assistant or Severus's.

Tara felt it first…the insistent tugging of her heart at the sight of him. The silkiness of his voice and the grace in his movements made her weak. Severus followed soon after. He began seeing her, not only as an enjoyable companion, but also as a very attractive woman whom he couldn't seem to take his mind off of.

It was after one of those debates over tea that it happened. Tara had reached the door and was about to show herself out when Severus grabbed her arm and pulled her back against him, claiming her mouth with a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

It took a while, but deep kisses before parting developed into long, drawn out snogging sessions and soon even that wasn't enough. Their conversations became both casual and personal. Eventually she'd admitted that she'd never been intimate with anyone. When he'd asked her why, she'd told him it was because she'd never found the right man.

'_I know it sounds a bit unrealistic, but I guess I'm just waiting for the one.' She replied hesitantly._

'_Am I the one?' he questioned, surprising both her and himself._

_She studied him before answering, 'I think so. Severus…I think I love you.'_

He'd kissed her then and shortly after introduced her to the bed in his chambers.

Many of her things stayed in his rooms after that, as she'd often find herself waking up there instead of her own. It came to the point where his bed felt empty without her, and hers cold without him. They knew without a doubt that they loved each other…that they belonged together, despite the many fights they'd had.

Like most good things, trouble came after this one. The war had escalated and Hogwarts came under attack. She'd begged him not to go that night, had told him about the fear that had gripped her from out of no where. Though he'd heard her out, he explained to her that it was his job in the war, that the order needed him. She countered by saying she needed him, and he took her in a passionate kiss.

'_After the war, after the Dark Lord falls…marry me?' he asks nervously. 'Tara, before I met you I fancied the idea of not surviving this war, but you've given me something to fight for and a future to look forward to. I can't see my future without you in it. I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to make sure we both survive. Just promise me that when we do, you'll still be here…you'll still want to be with me. Tell me you'll marry me.'_

'_Of course I will.' She nodded, tears running down her face. 'I love you, Severus.'_

"_Don't cry for me…Don't give up on me, Tara.' He pleaded with her. 'You're all I have.'_

She'd followed him, hidden in the shadows as the scene unfolded before her. Her heart was torn into two when the Dark Lord ordered the serpent to kill him.

_**One Year Later**_

He had survived the war, though just barely. He'd spent an entire year in a coma. She'd sworn to his unconscious form that she'd wait for him, no matter how long it took. The only thing that kept her going was his last few words to her.

She'd continued with her job at Hogwarts, but visited him as often as she could. Her heart sank a little more each time she had to listen to the mediwitch tell her there was no change, but she kept trying…kept hoping. She couldn't lose him. She'd already lost so many others. She felt helpless, being unable to do anything but wait for him to either wake up, or leave her like the others had.

She was working on a personal project when she'd gotten the owl from Minerva telling her the news. She'd rushed to St. Mungo's as quickly as possible and met the headmistress at the service desk. Minerva had been one of the few people who knew about her relationship with Severus, and the only one who knew Severus had proposed to her, as he'd gone to her for advice before doing so.

'_Before you see him, there's something you should know.' Minerva had told her, 'Tara…he doesn't remember you.'_

She had been shocked, but had told herself that he'd get his memory back. After the first couple of weeks though, it hurt her too much to see him recovering so quickly and yet never recognizing her for what she'd been to him. Instead, she relied upon Minerva for updates.

The day he was released, Tara turned in her resignation papers. Minerva had tried to get her to stay…as did her heart, but she wasn't strong enough to face him every day remembering what once was, what she'd given up hope for ever having again. She was finally forced to accept the truth. They had both survived, but at a terrible cost. The war had taken him away from her.


	2. The Welshire Brothers

**Chapter 1: The Welshire Brothers**

_Four years later, London_

I once again wake up from the same nightmare I'd had every night this week, compliments of the Welshire brothers. Yes, I do realize how pathetic it sounds to blame a reoccurring nightmare on three wizards after surviving everything thrown at me in the past. If it weren't for the threatening notes I'd blame it on my imagination.

The brothers, Marcus, William, and Luke, had gotten frighteningly angry after I saved the life of a man they'd have preferred dead. Though I have no evidence to back up my claim, I've long since come to the conclusion that the three wizards are a few of the pathetic fools who use the reputation of deatheaters to scare people into giving them whatever they want. There had been several of them in the past few years. They weren't really any danger, so the ministry doesn't do much more than give them a stern lecture before sending them on their way. Not many people really did that much wrong, but the Welshire brothers had crossed the line on more than one occasion. The only problem is that the only man who can prove they did anything wrong is now lying in a bed a St. Mungo's, too terrified to say anything.

I moved to London four years ago and almost immediately taken a job at St. Mungo's. The couple of years before that are memories that, quite frankly, I wish I didn't have. I had worked at Hogwarts, fell in love, got engaged, then ended up losing my man in the final battle against you-know-who. The Dark Lord had, without warning, ordered his snake to kill my fiancé, Severus Snape. Or shall I say 'ex' fiancé. He had survived the attack, and after spending a year in a coma, recovered quickly with no lasting damage…besides the fact that he had absolutely no memory of me. I'd might as well have never met him. I came to London after he was released. It had taken me a while to get over the experience, especially since he'd been the first, and last, man I'd ever truly loved. With the exception of my father, of course.

My parents had died in the war, doing everything they could to bring down Voldemort and his followers. They were against everything the Deatheaters represented, and had been proud of me for choosing a career as a mediwitch. In their eyes, deatheaters destroyed life, I helped rebuild it. Needless to say, they hadn't been very fond of Severus.

"Brush your hair, Tara." My mirror advised as I move to stand in front of it, getting ready to go out.

I'm off work today, but after waking up from that nightmare for the fifth morning in a row, I'm determined to make the ministry see reason and do something about the Welshire brothers. I've already reported the harassment three times, but they hadn't done anything about it.

I quickly pull on my cloak, silently promising myself that if it didn't work this time, I'd try something else.

* * *

><p>"I wish I could help you, but the Welshire brothers aren't really doing anything wrong." The woman tells me, handing back the latest threatening note the brothers had left me.<p>

"They're threatening me and messing with my head!" I object in frustration.

"They aren't acting on the threats, and you can't prove the nightmares are from them." The woman points out.

"Yeah, well you can tell that to the prophet when I'm found dead and raped in their attic!" I throw at her before storming out of the office and heading for home.

I rip another note off my door before going inside the decent sized flat, slamming the door behind me.

I grab my head as a searing pain rips through my skull and wait for the voice I know is coming.

"We told you not to turn us in again!" snarls the deep male voice.

"Get out of my head!" I shout angrily.

The voice laughs.

"The nightmares will get worse and worse until you wake up in one. Then you'll know we've come for you. Be ready to get fucked and we might consider reducing the amount of pain you'll go through before we kill you in place of the bastard who's pathetic little life you saved." It threatens in amusement.

"Stay away from me!" I demand.

The laughter of three men bounces off the walls and the pain tears through my head again before the room goes back to normal.

I carefully put up wards around my flat and begin pacing back and forth in my study. The ministry is obviously not going to be of help in the matter. After fighting in the war, I'm pretty sure I can defend myself against three wizards who are probably all talk and no action in regards to what they're actually threatening to do. The head trick that they pull, however, kills me. They are probably pretty decent with ligillimens, considering the fact that they're able to give me splitting headaches and talk to me at the same time, but-

"Ligillimens!" I exclaim victoriously. "That's the trick. To counter ligillimens I need occlumency. Who do I know that's a good occlumens?"

I quickly struggle to remember the skills of everyone I've worked with at St. Mungo's. None of them would be able to help me. Then I resort to the colleagues I'd had at my previous job.

"Minerva…no. Filius…no. Poppy…no…Severus-" I break off.

Severus had been a master in both occlumency and ligillimency. And so I proceed to engage in the first sign of insanity—arguing with myself.

"Absolutely not!"

"There's no one else, and he's good at it. On top of that, he's a professor, which means he's also good at teaching…"

"I don't give a damn about how good he is! I don't want to see him!"

"He doesn't remember you, which means you can pretend he wasn't the first man you shagged…at least long enough to learn how to keep the Welshire brothers out of your head."

I sigh, remembering the pain that had shot through my head. I move to the nearby desk and sit down, pulling out a quill and a piece of parchment. If I'm going to take a trip down memory lane it will be on the arm of Minerva…not him.

This is going to hurt enough as it is.


	3. Minerva's Insistence

_**Chapter 2: Minerva's Insistence**_

Three days and several letters later, I have the liberty of informing St. Mungo's that I'm taking four years worth vacation. I'm also nervously pacing in my private chambers, attempting to convince myself not to back out.

After hearing my story, Minerva had not only asked Severus to teach me occlumency (to which he reluctantly agreed-emphasis on reluctantly), but had also insisted that I come stay at Hogwarts 'for my own protection'. I had reluctantly compromised. Emphasis, again, on reluctantly.

Instead of staying at Hogwarts, which I straight out refused, I agreed to temporarily move closer. I rented a small cottage on the edge of eastern Hogsmeade, making it easier to get to the occlumency lessons, but sending me far enough away that I could take a break from work for a while. I'm to meet Minerva at Hogwarts gate at three this afternoon.

At five till three I shrink my belongings, shove them into the pocket on my cloak, and apparate just a few feet away from the gate. A few minutes later, my breath catches in my chest as my gaze falls upon the man of whom I'm rather painfully reminded that I never completely got over.

I force myself to start breathing again and struggle to keep my expression pleasant.

"I'm assuming you are Madame Tara Doe?" he demands immediately.

"Yes, but I prefer to be called Tara. Where is Professor McGonagall?" I ask, suspecting a set up.

"She thought it would be better for me to come fetch you, as I'm the one who will be teaching you occlumency. That and she'd rather not have to walk to the gate when she has such a brilliant excuse for making me do it."

"You must be Professor Severus Snape?" I question, though I already know the answer.

"Yes. She said you'd recognize me. I'm assuming we've met before?" he replies, letting me through the gate and shutting it firmly behind me, magically locking it.

"I worked here for a year or so as Madame Pomfrey's assistant, and I fought in the final battle here at Hogwarts." I answer simply, as we start for the castle. "What else has she told you?"

"That you have something to inform me of in regards to my past. She also implied that she'd rather I not be forward about it." He replies honestly.

"Well then, lets go ask her what exactly it is that I'm supposed to be informing you of, because I haven't got a clue." I lie.

"Either that's a poor attempt at sarcasm or you truly are a terrible occlumens." He smirks, seeing right through me.

We spend the remainder of the walk in silence.

* * *

><p>"Are you utterly mad? I'm not going to tell him that!" I object angrily as Minerva suggests I tell Severus about the past we'd shared.<p>

Severus had left after setting up a time for the first lesson- day after tomorrow at six in the evening. It would grant me enough time to settle into my cottage and take a days worth of vacation before starting what promises to be a long, nerve-racking class.

"And why not? He has the right to know, Tara!" Minerva insists.

"It's been four years, Minerva. It's better to just let it alone." I counter.

"So you plan to just leave him here? After being such a big part of his life?" She demands.

"Obviously not big enough to be worth remembering." I snap in return.

"He loved you, Tara!" She argues, "And if he knew who you were, he'd still love you! What happens if he finds out that we've been keeping it from him? It's just as bad as lying to him, if not worse!"

"He won't find out, I assure you." I insist. "I have no intention of hurting him or myself by being delusional enough to think we could get back to where we left off. You yourself said he was even reluctant to agree to teach me occlumency. What makes you think he'd want anything else to do with me?"

"_He doesn't know you_!" She counters, standing up for him.

"That's my point." I agree, "You can't be the fiancé of someone you don't know."


	4. Reminiscing

_**Chapter 3: reminiscing **_

"Do I know you?" Severus demands, surprising me with the question.

"Yes, we met day before yesterday-"

He cuts me off with a glare.

"I told you, I worked here as Madame Pomfrey's assistant." I reply.

"That's not it either…" he frowns. "Is there some other way that I know you? In some way more personal, perhaps?"

"No." I answer a bit too quickly.

He studies me carefully, narrowing his eyes suspiciously before rephrasing his question. "_Should_ I know you?"

"I see no reason why you should." I answer stiffly, lying through my teeth.

For a moment I'm half afraid he's going to press the matter, but he lets it go.

"Let's begin, then, shall we?"

I progressed slower than I would have liked, but since I have four months to waste, it doesn't bother me much.

What did bother me was how many fights Severus and I got into. The lessons wore me out, and when he wasn't practically mocking my memories he was accusing me of not trying hard enough. He penetrated my mind with little difficulty for the first couple of weeks, and it wasn't until two months into the training that I noticed him having to put any sort of effort into it.

When I'm not attending lessons, I'm either spending time in Hogsmeade or at the cottage reading. I made a point not to stay in Hogwarts any longer than absolutely necessary. I had intended to stay as far away from the past as possible.

I should have known my resolve would eventually slip.

"Would you like to stay for tea?" Severus invites me after I'm finally able to block my mind well enough to keep him out. I noticed that you prefer to leave Hogwarts as soon as we're finished. But perhaps this time you can make an exception and stay long enough to celebrate your success with me?"

"I-I really shouldn't…" I object, trying to keep myself from going weak at the sound of his voice. I haven't heard him speak like that for…years. Hearing it now does nothing but remind me of the man I'd visited at St. Mungo's…my fiancé. _Ex_ fiancé.

"Come now, it's just tea. What is it going to hurt?" He replies, attempting to convince me.

"Probably a lot more than you realize." I mutter.

"Ten minutes, no tea. Just sit and converse with me." He pushes.

I study him guardedly before finally agreeing, "Very well."

I quickly follow him through the dungeons to where I remember his rooms to be. Severus takes a seat on the couch and I sit in a chair opposite him.

He studies me for a moment before making an attempt at starting conversation.

"Out of curiosity, what made you decide to be a mediwitch? From what I've seen in your memories, you'd make a fair potions mistress."

"Helping people appeals to me. Potions making comes in handy in my field. I can make potions instead of waiting for them to stock up." I answer, "When my colleagues found out, they started taking advantage of the opportunity, so I'm kept busy and none of my skills go to waste."

"Clever." He murmurs.

"I'm assuming your reasons for leaving so quickly after the lessons has to do with your husband." He says questioningly.

"Kindly point me to the person who told you I had a husband…they most likely need to be checked into the St. Mungo's department for the incurably insane." I reply, frowning.

He raises an eyebrow.

"I've never been married." I explain quickly.

"A fiancé, then? A lover, perhaps?" he prods.

I shake my head. "Actually, I'm single."

"Then do you merely find Hogwarts distasteful?" he demands almost defensively.

"I'm closer to having a husband than finding Hogwarts distasteful." I assure him. "There are just things that need tending to at the cottage I'm renting."

"Such as?" he questions.

"Such as good books, cold showers, and hot tea." I reply easily.

"So you do like tea?" He smirks.

"Yes, I do. As a matter of fact, I used to know someone who could make tea fit for royalty." I answer.

He raises an eyebrow curiously.

He was…a lover, if you will. " I answer the unasked question, frowning at the memory. "About four years back…"

"Judging by the look on your face, something terrible happened." He says smoothly.

"Life happened…" I answer half honestly, "He forgot me."

"And you loved this man…that forgot you?" he inquires.

I study him, the contemplative look in his eyes, long, smooth hands… I can almost feel the dark strands of his hair between my fingers again. And his voice…

I quickly jump up out of my seat, silently cursing myself for being so weak.

"I have to go." I say hurriedly, instantly heading for the door.

"Of course, "He agrees, standing up as well.

"Tara, wait…" he insists as I reach the door.

I unwillingly take my hand off the door knob and turn back towards him.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean for the conversation to get so personal." He starts apologetically.

"That's alright." I answer, meeting his gaze.

"And I have a detention to take care of tomorrow, but I have no classes to teach until the afternoon." He continues. "Your lesson will have to be in the morning. How does ten sound?"

"That's fine." I agree.

"Good night." He says dismissively.


	5. Hangover

Chapter Four Hangover

I quickly make my way through the outer gates of Hogwarts. The second thing on my mind was finding something strong to drink. The first was cursing myself for being foolish enough to agree to stay after the lesson. I should have known better. The fact that I took pride in even the slightest compliment he paid me during the lessons should have been a warning sign that it was time to go back home.

I enter the three broomsticks and take the last empty seat at the bar. Firewhiskey would hold the memories off until I managed to make myself pass out. It was going to be a long night.

I wake up lying sprawled out across the bed, my legs tangled up in the blankets and a splitting headache making my head pound. I groan from the pain, for a moment convinced that the Welshire Brothers were attacking me again, but the voices never came. It must be a natural headache.

No…not natural. What had I done last night? The last thing I could remember was sitting in the three broomsticks feeling a bit tipsy from my fourth firewhiskey. Apparently it had been more than just a bit _tipsy_.

I quickly disentangle myself from the blankets and rush to the bathroom, giving the toilette whatever was left in my stomach.

"Severus is going to kill me," I mutter, cursing under my breath.

Severus…the lesson was supposed to be early today!

"Damnations!" I curse, glancing up at the clock hanging up on the wall opposite the bathroom door in the bedroom.

I was at nearly four hours late! I rush to my medicinal bags, searching frantically for a hangover relief potion and fighting the urge to throw up again. I curse again as I remember using my last one the day I had arrived. I would just have to ask Severus for one. He is a potions master, after all.

I quickly apparate to the gates and make my way up to the castle. Once there I head straight for the dungeons. Severus was in his office, sitting behind his desk.

"Where the bloody hell have you been? Do you have any idea how late you are? Why did you even bother to show up at all?" He snaps angrily.

"The cottage, yes I do, and I might feel a little worse about it if you would be so kind as to give me a hangover relief potion." I answer irritably.

"You got drunk? Why?" He demands, standing up.

Thinking quickly, I make the mistake of spouting off the first thing that pops into my head. "Yes, because the guy sitting next to me in the Three Broomsticks was extremely attractive and insisted upon it. I was kind enough to comply. Now, if you'd do the same and give me the damn potion, I would be extremely grateful."

"I think not! You're lucky I'll even consent to continuing with today's lesson. Show up to my office hungover again and they will come to an abrupt end. Is that clear?" He snaps furiously.

I bow mockingly, "Of course, master!"

"Legilimens!" He snarls in anger without warning, and, as expected, entered my mind with extreme ease.

To my surprise, and horror, the last memories that I would want him to see are pulled to the front of my mind. Memories from my last year at Hogwarts. Severus eyes me curiously as I plead with him to stop, realizing what was coming if he continued.

"This is an occlumency lesson," He sneers mercilessly, "Clear your mind! Fight it!"

_**Flash**_

"_It's a pleasure to meet you, Madam Pomfrey. I'm sure I'll enjoy working with you." I say politely to my new boss._

"_Your main duties will be to keep my potions stocked. I suggest you introduce yourself to the potions master, Professor Snape."_

_**Flash**_

"_It was kind of you to allow me to help you brew the potions." I say to Severus, stirring in the next ingredient._

_He smirks "Someone has to hone your talents."_

* * *

><p>"Ah, I should know you then?" Severus snaps at me. "You never mentioned that we worked that closely together."<p>

"Please stop!" I plead with him.

"Fight it." He answers coldly, knowing full well that I couldn't.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flash<strong>_

_Severus kissed me, claiming my mouth with his tongue. His hands ran through my hair and down my back before cupping my face. He uses his body to push me into a lying position on his couch, straddling me and running his hands down my body._

* * *

><p>"What is this?" Severus questions softly, shocked.<p>

I don't answer, staring at the memory with tears in my eyes.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flash<strong>_

_Severus thrusts into me quickly, moaning in pleasure with each stroke. I gripped his back tightly as his body pressed and rubbed against mine, sending bolts of electricity shooting through me._

_One last stroke and he stills suddenly, his eyes rolling back as he spills himself into me, gasping my name. He rolls over and pulls me with him so that I'm lying on top of him, both of us still breathing heavily._

"_I love you," I murmur, studying him._

* * *

><p>"Stop it!" I yell at him, "Stop it! Get out of my head!"<p>

"What is this?" he yells back.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flash<strong>_

"_Don't go! Severus, please…I have a really bad feeling about this. I don't want to lose you." I plead, begging him not to leave._

"_I have to. The Order needs me, Tara." He argues._

"_I need you!" I counter desperately._

_His mouth quickly captures mine for a moment as he pulls me into him. He breaks the kiss, but doesn't release me._

"_After the war…after the Dark Lord falls…will you marry me" He asks, a nervousness in is voice that I rarely ever heard. "Tara, before I met you I was fond of the idea of not surviving this war, but you've given me something to fight for. I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to ensure we both survive, and when we do, I need to know that you'll be mine. I want you to be my wife."_

"_I want you to be my husband," I nod, tears running down my face, "I love you, Severus. Of course I'll marry you."_

"_Don't cry for me…" He murmurs, wiping the tears away, "Don't give up on me. You're all I have."_

_**Flash**_

"_He's awake, and he's recovering quickly…" Minerva tells me on our way to his hospital room._

_I freeze, sensing a hesitation in her voice. "But?" _

"_It's his memory,"_

"_How much?" I demand,_

"_At first he didn't remember anything, but now he has most of them back…all of them except…" She breaks off._

"_He doesn't remember he's proposed! That's fine. It was right before the attack, so it's not all that surprising."_

"_No, Tara! Tara, wait!" Minerva calls after me as I run the rest of the way to his rooms. I just wanted to see him awake. I had to see for myself that he was going to be ok. I had waited so long…_

_I approach him slowly as he blinks open his eyes._

"_Hi," I greet him softly._

"_Who the bloody hell are you?" He snaps irritably._

_Minerva walks up behind me. "Severus, don't you remember her?" She asks carefully._

"_I've never seen her before. Get her out of my room! Where is my mediwitch? Anna!" He calls._

_I turn around and flee the room, devastated._

* * *

><p>After a moment my vision goes black. I blink open my eyes, fighting back tears, the pain in my knees almost unbearable. I'm back in the present, on the floor.<p>

I look up to see Severus staring at me enraged.

"Get out," He demands dangerously.

"Severus, I-"

He cuts me off, "Get out!"

I quickly get to my feet and run out of the room, headed back to the cottage…and my suitcases.


	6. Explanations

Chapter five Explanations

Severus stormed through the hall of Hogwarts in a rage, flying into Minerva's office with out bothering to knock.

"Who is she, Minerva?" He snarls furiously.

"Who is who?" Minerva questions calmly.

"The woman you sent to me with memories I should have but don't." He says, whispering dangerously, "Who is she?"

"How much have you seen?" She sighs heavily.

"_Who is she?_" He demands again.

"Sit down," She instruct in an attempt to calm him down.

He glares at her before complying.

"Would you like a drink?" She offers politely.

"Not for myself. However, a few drops of veritaserum in your tea should do nicely," He snaps at her, "What I want is a bloody answer."

"Her name is Tara Doe," Minerva sighs, finally giving in. "I hired her to assist Madam Pomfrey the year of the final battle. If you tell me what you saw, I can fill in the blanks."

He glares at her cautiously before continuing.

"I knew her? She worked with me?" He asks.

"Yes," Minerva answers honestly. "It was often joked about whether she was Madam Pomfrey's assistant or yours. You were a bit unfair to her at first, constantly throwing her abilities into question. However, it wasn't long before you began to respect her."

"Did I love her?" He asks quietly, avoiding her gaze, "I saw…moments of intimacy."

"She slept in your chambers after a while." Minerva replies quietly. "I'm not sure how it happened. It was your private life, Severus. I wasn't there so I can't tell you much. The only person who can is Tara. Where is she? I assume she turned up for occlumency lessons?"

"Did I intend to marry her?" He continues, ignoring her question.

"You came to me with a dark blue velvet box. Inside was a white gold ring with a sapphire stone surrounded by tiny crystals. You said she didn't like diamonds…she never got the ring, but informed me that you did propose before you left to face you-know-who. However, what your actual intentions were, I do not know."

He stands up and starts pacing back and forth in front of her desk. "Why did she leave? Why didn't you tell me?" He demands.

"You had returned to your old, bitter ways. She left because she was afraid. You couldn't remember her, Severus, and she was afraid she had lost you, the man she loved. She had no hope, and before the reality of it all could hit her, she let you go. It was a poor attempt to spare herself as much suffering as possible. I told her, when she first arrived for the lessons, that she should tell you the truth. I was afraid you would find out on your own and become upset. Looking at the way your acting now, my fears were well founded. However, she insisted that if you couldn't remember her after four years, there was no point in telling you. Severus, where is she?" Minerva demands firmly.

"Apparently I didn't mean that much to her. She had the nerve to show up to today's lesson not only four hours late, but also hungover. Then she had the nerve to tell me that she got drunk because she wanted to screw the bastard sitting next to her. I was angry-"

"You mean you were jealous," She interrupts him, seeing right through him.

"I was angry," he repeats insistently, "and used ligillimens on her. The alcohol that was still in her system made her mind so easy to penetrate that I saw memories from..."He breaks off.

"From before you-know-who tried to kill you." She provides.

"Yes," He confirms, "I threw her out. Knowing her, she's back at the Three Broomsticks, hoping to get _lucky_ with some other idiot."

"That's just it, Severus. You've forgotten her. You don't know her."

"And I suppose you do?" He snaps, "People can change in four years, Minerva!"

"That may be true, but I don't think she has." Minerva replies.

"Then where do you think she is?" He challenges.

"Packing. She's going home." Minerva answers, sighing heavily.

"What about her occlumency lessons?" Severus demands, frowning.

"Severus, she was reluctant to face you to begin with. Now that you do know, and you've thrown her out of your office the moment you found out, do you honestly think she's likely to come back?" Minerva points out. "I'm more concerned with how she'll deal with the Welshire Brothers."

"They're punishing her with nightmares, Minerva. She has progressed enough in occlumency to be able to stop them. It's hardly anything to worry about." He replies.

"It wasn't just nightmares, Severus. Let me show you something." She shifts through the papers on her desk and hands Severus three pieces of parchment. His face became paler after reading each one.

"They're threatening her with rape, murder, and kidnapping…not necessarily in that order, and she shrugs it off by saying that the three men are all talk and no action." She informs him.

"Really? So that's how Rutnam ended up in St. Mungo's? It was because the brothers were afraid to act?" He returns sarcastically.

"My thoughts exactly." Minerva agrees.

"We have to stop her," Severus replies, quickly coming to a decision.

"Why, Severus! You actually sound as though you care for the girl!" Minerva says in mock surprise.

"You mean despite the fact that she's willing to screw any random man that she meets in a pub?" Severus counters.

"How do you know she did?" Minerva questions, "You were obviously angry at the time. You wouldn't have noticed whether or not she was lying."

"Why else would she drink to such an extent?" Severus demands, "Assuming its' not a habit?"

"Did you upset her in any way during her lessons yesterday?" Minerva asks.

"No," Severus answers firmly, "Actually, yesterday was the first time she was able to keep me from penetrating her mind."

"Did she stay after the lesson, even for a moment?" Minerva pushes.

"Yes, but not for long. The conversation got a bit too personal and she left." He replies.

"What did you talk about? What made her decide to leave?" She prods.

"A man from her past…a lover who had the nerve to forget-" Severus breaks off, realization dawning on him.

"That, Severus, is why she drank last night." Minerva answers.

"I asked her if she loved him and she left." Severus mutters, "Do you think she's still at the cottage?"

"There is a chance. We'll take floo."

* * *

><p>"She's not here," Severus snaps in frustration.<p>

"I have her home address, if you'd like to go see her there." Minerva offers.

"Why me? Why don't you check up on her yourself?" Severus demands.

"Do you or do you not wish to see her? To question her in regards to the details of your relationship with her?" Minerva asks, already knowing the answer.

He studies her guardedly before answering, "I do."

"I'm not blind, Severus. You're in love with her." Minerva adds.

"I'm not," He denies.

"Then why were you so angry when she told you she had been with someone else? Also, why did that anger persist up until the point when you were presented with the thought that she may leave, and that she was in danger?" Minerva points out.

"Minerva, you are far too observant," Severus snaps at her.

"Then you don't deny it?" She asks.

"Just give me the address!" he sighs in defeat.


	7. Out for Revenge

Chapter Six Out for Revenge

It had been a week since I left Hogsmeade, but I still hadn't gone back to work. I could hardly get myself to get up in the mornings anymore. I never should have gone back to Hogwarts. It would have been easier to deal with the Welshire Brothers on my own.

I had finally gotten myself to get out of the flat this morning and go for a long walk. I'd been gone for an hour when I decided it was time for breakfast, so I turn around and head back to the flat. When I arrive I'm surprised to find the doo open. I could have sworn I had shut and locked it. I draw my wand and walk cautiously through the door. I freeze as I recognize the two men sitting in my living room.

"Toss your wand towards them," The third brother demands, stepping in behind me and pressing his wand to my throat. He uses his foot to shut the door.

"Let me go and get out of my flat," I counter, "and I may consider not turning you in for this."

"You're in no position to make threats," Luke Welshire points out, rising from the couch.

"You don't think I'll do it?" Marcus Welshire asks in amusement, pressing his wand tighter against my neck.

I hesitantly take out my wand and toss it towards the two brothers in front of me.

Marcus releases me as William rises from the chair and pockets my wand. Marcus shoves me away from the door and towards the enchanted fireplace before moving to stand with his brothers, facing me.

"What should we do with her?" Marcus questions.

"Light the fireplace and let's se how long she can handle the flames." Luke answers instantly.

"Ah, come on! Let me play with her a bit. You got to do off the other guy. I should at least get to rape this one." William objects.

"We could rape her," Marcus compromises, "While Luke burns her."

"We can shave her head. I read somewhere that a woman's hair is her pride." Luke suggests.

"We're going to kill her after we're done. She won't have to live with a shaved head long enough for there to be any point in that." Marcus points out.

"Let me have her, Marc," William demands.

I feel as though I'm going to be sick.

"I could cut her open, make her suffer?" Luke offers.

"We could, boys, see how long she can last under the cruciatus curse." Marcus suggests, "Afterwards she would still be in decent condition for you to rape her, William. Then Luke can kill her however he sees-"

He breaks off a green fire roars up behind me, and I gasp as Severus steps out of it, wand drawn. "Or, you could spare yourselves a lot of suffering by giving her back her wand and getting the hell out of her home." He snarls menacingly.

"How do you know they've got my wand?" I frown, my heart skipping a beat as he glances at me.

"I've been watching from the fireplace." He answers simply.

"You think you can make us leave her alone?" William asks mockingly, moving towards me.

Severus quickly steps in front of me, taking my hand and keeping be close behind him.

"I was only going to screw her," William adds, now standing directly in front of us.

Severus presses his wand to William's throat. "Touch my fiancé and it will be the last thing you ever do." He whispers dangerously.

William takes a few steps back and his brothers move to stand with him, their wands drawn.

"Do you really think we're going to fall for that? She hasn't had a date since she showed up here." Marcus laughs.

"Did it never occur to you that it was because she was already taken when she arrived here? Where do you think she's been for the past several weeks?" Severus counters, glaring at them ruthlessly.

"Then why don't we just kill you make her ours? It's one against three, after all, and we could make a profit from her if we turn her into a prostitute." Marcus muses.

Severus unbuttons and rolls up his left sleeve, revealing the dark mark.

"I am one of the few remaining deatheaters that haven't been sent to Azkaban. Do you really think you can beat me, even if it is one against three?" He demands.

The three of them quickly back off.

"We-we were just playing with her," William stutters.

Severus moves to press his wand against William's throat, backing him up against the couch. Still holding my hand, he pulls me along with him, keeping me close.

"It didn't sound as though you were just messing around to me. Kidnapping…torture…_rape_." Severus snarls, placing emphasis on the last offense. "You were threatening _my woman_, and I don't appreciate it."

Marcus attempts to take advantage of Severus being focused on William and comes at me from the side. However, Severus saw the sudden movement out of the corner of his eyes and whirls around towards him shouting, "Sectumsempra!"

Marcus collapses in a pool of blood on the floor.

"Marcus!" William exclaims in shock, starting towards him.

"Are you next?" Severus demands, turning his wand back on William.

William eyes him warily.

"What are you going to do?" Severus asks, mocking him.

William takes my wand out of his pocket and hands it to Severus. "Alright, we'll leave her alone."

"If you _ever_ cause her any sort of discomfort again, I will personally hunt you down. I will find you, and when I do…the Dark Lord will look like a saint compared to what I will put you through."


	8. Shut Up and Kiss Me

Chapter 7 Shut up and Kiss Me

"Your woman? Fiancé?" I question after cleaning up the blood and making sure the flat is more secure just in case they decide to come back.

"It made the back off, didn't it?" He replies, shrugging off the question.

"What are you doing here, Severus?" I demand, "Have you been watching me?"

"You make it incredibly easy. I didn't even have to break through any wards." He answers honestly.

"Why would you? Why are you here?" I repeat defensively.

"Tara…Miss Doe, you left me with knowledge of events from my past that I fail to recall." He points out.

"It's Tara…only my patients call me Miss Doe. And I didn't just leave. You threw me out the second you found out." I counter.

"You lied to me." He accuses.

"I never lied to you about our past relationship." I insist.

"I asked you if I should know you, and you said-"

"No. I said no. You never asked me why you shouldn't remember me. That's a different question entirely." I sigh, cutting him off. I move to sit down on the sofa and he sits in the chair facing me.

"Why shouldn't I remember you?" He asks, studying me.

"Because we were a casualty in the final battle. You promised me that we'd both survive…and as individuals, we did. What was between us didn't. I've been trying to forget you for the past five years. Why should you remember now?"

"Did you hate me that much?" He questions softly, "Was I that horrible of a fiancé, that you would leave me the moment the opportunity presented itself?"

"I held on for as long as I could," I object, "Part of me held was still holding on when I started the occlumency lessons. I've drowned myself in work and books in an effort to keep myself so busy that I never had to think about you again. Seeing you again made me realize that…being able to avoid thinking about it doesn't mean I ever stopped feeling it. Hoping that there was some way…but you put a stop to that when you threw me out."

"Minerva has told me that you stopped coming to see me before I was even released from St. Mungo's." He counters, "You did hold out for that long."

"You didn't remember me. I might as well have never existed to you, but you were my life. I couldn't handle it." I murmur. "I loved you too much…"

"We were intimate?" He questions. It seemed a suitable enough way to broach the subject.

"After a while," I answer simply.

"After how long of a while?" He pushes.

"We had known each other four five months before you ever kissed me. It was at least…_at least_ another two months before…"

"Before we had sex," He finishes for me. "And you were still innocent. I was your first?"

"Yes," I answer uncomfortably.

"The two memories I saw of us occurred in different places, but I assume they go together. The one on the couch…I obviously wanted you. Is that how it started?" He asks.

"You assume wrong," I reply, "They memory of us on the couch…we didn't get much further than what you saw. However, you did want to, and I had let it get any further we would have."

"Why didn't you?" He frowns.

"I wasn't ready, and you always kept control of yourself when you sensed that I was growing uncomfortable with the idea. You were so patient…"

"The other memory?" He continues, slowly piecing things together in his mind. The more she spoke the more he could remember, but there were still gaps.

"About a month later there was a path of roses leading from the door of my private chambers into my bedroom." I smile, remembering, "I came in early. It was my birthday and you wanted to surprise me. You were still preparing. The dinner you had planned wasn't even started yet. Your gift to me, a silver necklace, was lying unwrapped on a small table that you served dinner on. You set everything up around the bed so that I could relax and let you tend to me…you were disappointed when I came in two hours too soon. I, on the other hand, was quite swept away and…well…dinner had to wait."

"I know that I loved you," He admits, holding my gaze, "I thought it was curious that I felt inexplicably drawn to you during the lessons. Now it's not so surprising that I still felt…something for you. A recognition that I didn't understand…"

He looks away. "I asked you to marry me?"

"And I said yes,"

"I needed you?"

"No more than I did you."

"I promised you that we would bother survive? That we would be together once it was all over?"

"I believed you"

"I asked you not to give up." He states stiffly. It wasn't a question. He remembers that bit clearly. "I can remember more in the short time that we have discussed this than you have even revealed to me. How do you know that, if you had stayed with me and told me the truth, I wouldn't have remembered you?"

"I failed you," I whisper, fighting back tears. "I already know that. You don't have to say it. I've always known it…and now, you know it, too."

He stands up and moves to sit next to me "Are you even listening to me?" He demands, sharply, tilting my chin up and forcing me to look at him. "Tara, I remember you. I remember…almost everything, I think. I remember this-"He leans his head down and presses his lips firmly against mine.

I quickly pull back, "Severus…"

"Damn it, Tara! The only way our relationship will be a casualty of war is if you let it be! I have fought for you. Today I have proven that I am _still_ willing to fight for you. I realize I may have crossed the line by throwing you out after I saw the memories, but you must understand how much of a shock it was to me. I have always felt as though there were something missing. Simply walking through the corridors of Hogwarts put me in a sore mood because I knew I wouldn't find it there. You were gone. I've lost you once already. Now that I've found you, I don't want to lose you again."

"How could you ever trust me again?" I object. "I left you when you needed me the most! You deserve more than that."

"How could you push me away when I still want to be with you? You're mine, witch. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't still love me." He demands.

"I-I can't." I reply hesitantly.

He pulls me to my feet and pulls me into him, "I still love you…despite the fact that you've had five years to plan a wedding and haven't even picked out a dress yet." He smirks mockingly.

"I can't do it without you," I answer, offering him a smile.

"Then we'd better get started. I'm not as patient as you think, naïve girl." He replies.

"I think I can handle that," I tease lightly.

"Shut up and kiss me, witch."


End file.
